How to Emotionally Prepare for Being a Surrogate
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What you should consider before saying yes to the journey
Becoming a surrogate is a beautiful and selfless decision—but it’s also one that comes with a wide range of emotions. While most people talk about the medical and legal side of surrogacy, emotional preparation is just as important. Understanding the mental and emotional journey ahead can help you feel more confident and supported every step of the way.
Here’s what you need to know about emotionally preparing for the surrogacy process.
1. Understand Your Why
Before anything else, take time to reflect on why you want to become a surrogate. Is it to help someone you know? Do you feel called to give the gift of life? Are you financially motivated, emotionally driven, or a combination of both? There’s no right or wrong reason—but knowing your “why” will help you stay grounded during more challenging moments of the journey.
2. Talk to Other Surrogates
Nobody understands what you’re about to experience better than someone who’s already done it. Reach out to surrogacy agencies, support groups, or online communities and connect with other women who have been surrogates. Ask them what they wish they’d known, how they handled emotional highs and lows, and what helped them feel supported. Their insight can be invaluable.
3. Be Honest About Boundaries
This journey is a partnership—with intended parents, a surrogacy agency, and your own support system. From the start, be clear about your comfort level when it comes to communication with the intended parents, medical decisions, and the birth plan. Setting emotional boundaries early can help avoid stress or confusion down the road.
4. Involve Your Support Circle
Let your partner, children, friends, or close family know what you’re planning and how they can support you. Surrogacy can be emotionally intense, and having a reliable, encouraging circle around you will make a huge difference. Whether it’s attending appointments with you, helping with childcare, or simply checking in on your mental health—don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.
5. Prepare for the Post-Birth Transition
One of the most common emotional concerns for surrogates is how they’ll feel after the baby is born. Will it be hard to let go? Will it feel different than your own pregnancies? These are valid questions. Many surrogates feel a mix of pride, relief, and bittersweet emotions after delivery. Talk to a licensed therapist or a surrogacy counselor ahead of time to set expectations and have a plan for emotional care after the birth.
6. Know That Every Journey Is Unique
No two surrogacy journeys are the same. Some matches are seamless and joyful, while others may include bumps along the way. Emotional preparation means allowing yourself grace through all of it. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be honest, open, and willing to lean on support when you need it.
Final Thoughts
Surrogacy is an incredibly rewarding experience, but it’s not one to walk into lightly. Taking the time to emotionally prepare—just like you would physically or legally—will help you feel strong, confident, and ready to give the gift of life with a full heart.
If you’re considering becoming a surrogate and want to learn more about the emotional side of the journey, we’re here to help. Reach out to our team anytime.
Navigating the New Legal Landscape
With these changes on the horizon, it's crucial for both surrogates and intended parents to understand the new legal framework and how it impacts their surrogacy journey. Working with a knowledgeable surrogacy agency and legal professionals who are well-versed in the new law will be essential in navigating this new landscape effectively.
At Stork Connections, we are committed to providing up-to-date information and support to our clients. Our team of experienced professionals is here to guide you through every step of the surrogacy process, ensuring that you are well-informed and prepared for the changes ahead.
For more information on becoming a surrogate, please reach out to us at info@storkconnections.com or directly to 619.324.9574
Warm Regards,
Tonya Zlock
Founder, Stork Connections LLC
