Part 4
The day you’ve been dreaming about and anxiously awaiting finally arrives – your baby’s birth day. This moment is the climax of your emotional journey, and it can be more intense and beautiful than words can capture. Leading up to the birth, you may feel a cocktail of emotions: excitement, anxiety, disbelief, and overwhelming hope. It’s the eve of everything you’ve wanted. If you have to travel to the surrogate’s location, the trip itself might be filled with jitters (“Please let us get there in time!”). Many intended parents can hardly sleep as the due date approaches, half expecting a midnight phone call that labor has started.
When the call or text actually comes – “We’re heading to the hospital!” – your adrenaline will surge. Some describe it as an out-of-body experience, grabbing the go-bag, rushing out the door, heart pounding with a mix of joy and nerves. If you’re at the hospital while your surrogate is in labor, you might feel helpless at times (after all, you can’t take away her pain or do the hard part for her). You’ll likely also feel deeply concerned for her well-being – it’s an odd situation where you are simultaneously like expectant parents in a delivery room and also cheering on someone giving birth. Many intended parents stand by with tremendous respect and gratitude for the surrogate as she does the work of labor. It can be emotional to witness – you realize fully how much she’s putting in to bring your baby safely into the world.
As the baby is about to be born, anticipation reaches its peak. You might be holding your breath, hands trembling, heart racing. This moment is so different from any previous ones because this time, you know a baby is coming. Not a maybe, not a wish – a real baby who is yours. And then it happens: the cry you’ve waited your whole life to hear. Your baby’s first cry. It’s a sound that unleashes a flood of emotion. You might burst into tears immediately – many intended parents do. Some are in stunned silence, unable to process that it’s real.
The first sight of your baby might feel like time stops. Perhaps the doctor or midwife places the baby in your arms seconds after birth, or maybe the baby is first handed to the surrogate briefly and then to you (every birth plan is different, but often surrogates want the baby straight to parents if possible). The moment you hold your baby for the first time is often described as pure magic. All the years of longing, all the tears, all the waiting – it all transforms into tears of joy. You might feel an immense sense of relief: we finally made it, the baby is here and safe. And an overwhelming feeling of love that washes over you. Some intended parents say they felt an instant connection, like “Yes, this is my child, I’d recognize them anywhere.” Others might feel shock and need a little time to fully wrap their head around it (which is okay too – love at first sight is common, but bonding can also grow naturally over hours or days).
One emotion that is universally reported is gratitude – towards your surrogate. In that delivery room, amid your own bliss, you’ll likely find yourself looking at your surrogate with profound thankfulness. You might hug her, cry with her, or be at a loss for words beyond “thank you, thank you.” It’s often extremely emotional for the surrogate as well – she is seeing your faces light up, which is her ultimate reward. Many intended parents later say they cannot think of their baby’s birth without also thinking of the surrogate’s role and feeling immense appreciation and even love for her.
It’s also normal at this point to feel a bit overwhelmed. Becoming a parent in an instant (without the physical lead-up of labor yourself) can be intense. Suddenly you’re holding a newborn and it hits: “I’m a mom/dad now.” That can bring a rush of protectiveness and maybe a touch of anxiety – especially as you consider the immediate tasks like feeding, diapering, soothing. It’s a lot to take in, but rest assured, those parental instincts kick in strongly. Many intended mothers worry “Will it feel different because I didn’t give birth?” and are relieved to find that when the baby cries, their instincts to comfort and nurture are just as fierce and natural. The body and heart know – this is your baby, and the bond is real.
Depending on the hospital and arrangements, you might get a separate room to care for the baby after birth, or you might room-in with the surrogate until discharge. Those first days in the hospital are a whirlwind of learning to feed the baby (bottle or perhaps breastfeeding – yes, with preparation some intended mothers induce lactation to breastfeed), changing diapers, and likely sleeping very little because you can’t stop gazing at this little miracle. You might also still be checking on the surrogate, hoping she is recovering well and feeling okay emotionally. It’s a lot at once – joy for your baby, concern for your surrogate, and trying to absorb the fact that after such a long journey, you are finally parents.
One emotion that might surprise you is a sense of awe at your own perseverance. Holding your baby, you might think back on everything it took to get here – the injections, the losses, the waiting, the paperwork, the leap of faith with a surrogate – and you realize, we made it through. Give yourself credit and allow that pride and happiness to really sink in. You are stronger than you knew, and now you have the sweetest reward imaginable.
When it’s time to leave the hospital, many intended parents feel a mix of euphoria and a touch of bittersweet. Euphoria because you’re going home with your baby! But maybe bittersweet because it means parting ways with your surrogate. Often there’s an emotional goodbye – lots of hugs and promises to stay in touch. Some intended parents worry, “How do I say thank you enough to someone who gave us our child?” The truth is, you probably can’t ever fully repay that gift, but maintaining a relationship, if both sides are open to it, can be a wonderful way to honor it. Even if that relationship is just sending pictures and updates occasionally, it often means a lot to surrogates (and to you) to keep that connection. Many surrogates and intended families remain lifelong friends. In any case, leaving the hospital with your baby is a triumphant moment. You might strap your baby into the car seat and then freak out mildly – “Oh gosh, they’re letting us take a baby, do we know what we’re doing?!” – which is a totally normal new parent feeling. Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out one day (and diaper) at a time.
At Stork Connections, we know that the birth day is one of the most emotional and life-changing moments of your surrogacy journey. That’s why we work closely with both intended parents and surrogates to plan every detail in advance — from hospital preferences to travel arrangements and emotional support — so that when the big day comes, you can focus on what truly matters: welcoming your baby into the world.
If you're just beginning to consider surrogacy or are ready to take the next step, we’re here to guide you through each phase — with care, preparation, and heart.
For more information on becoming a surrogate, please reach out to us at info@storkconnections.com or directly to 619.324.9574. We're here to support you every step of the way.
Warm Regards,
Tonya Zlock
Founder, Stork Connections LLC
